One of the hardest things for me is to forget.
My brain collects the stories in my life over the years, which can easily go far back to my kindergarten time. It embedded those stories into its cells to form a self generated “calendar”. Those memories, especially the significant ones, have been repetitively making splashes on each of their “anniversaries”.
I still memorize each details during my first trip to Disney World, which happened over 21 years ago. Once a while the scenes and the feelings came into my dream, and oftentimes I woke up with tears in my eyes.
It was only two months after I landed at this country. Getting out from a stressful environment, I set my mind to start from ground zero. Even with very little money and belongings, I had a young heart occupied by a fresh love. I had been looking forward to seeing him since the moment I arrived at my new home – a University located at Southern part of this country.
He took me to Disney World at Orlando on early February 1994. I still remember that I was so deeply amazed by those breathtaking surroundings that I imaged myself as one of the characters in the fairytale stories (even though I was then already at my 20s). He bought me a big staffed Hello Kitty which served as my companion in many sleepless nights while I was a student, but later became a “weapon” in pillow fights between me and my daughter. I also brought some ornaments with me from Disney World which are still hung in front of kitchen window and singing with warm breeze in spring or summer time.
During the same trip I experienced strong emotional and physical interactions with him. Especially the night before his departure, we listened to a song together – “you are my true love”. The melody and lyric of the song brought us in tears. Even though the interactions gave me a great temporary pleasure, meanwhile it also created a deep hurt in my heart. From that time I started understanding that it took a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone, – but it took a lifetime to forget someone!
Around Christmas time of 2009, I went back to Disney World, this time with my 5-years old daughter. The little girl was so excited by everything she was seeing in the themes parks, and asked millions of questions during the trip. For me it was the most beautiful thing to listen to her screaming with joy while floating through the “Small World”, and to feel the little hands grabbing mine while riding across the dinosaurs land.
Being unable to forget sometime can be overwhelming, especially the memories on the painful events are harmful to a person’s health. Fortunately I have noticed that writing is an excellent way to let the burdens vent out. In other words, I found a new path through writing to heal the wounds.
That formed my original purpose to launch my blog site on July 2013, and I have been continuously writing, together with photographing, since then.