I Have a Dream ……

I want to remain healthy and attractive after turning 55.

A Chinese legend tells us that if a woman over 35 still gets compliments on her appearance, she must be not only pretty outside but also kind and energetic inside. In reality for a middle-age woman, her physical appearance has very little to do with what was coming from her birth, rather a lot to do with her personality and mentality.

A middle-age woman has passed her teenage eras with burning rebellions and girlish dreams, the frustrations when first facing the world, the initial steps into formation of a family, especially motherhood.

A middle-age woman might have already experienced some successes and failures, happiness and pains, which have taught her that life was nothing like “bed of roses” but was full of ups and downs.  She might have acquired insights on whom she really is and what she really wants, instead of be constantly “advised” by others.  She might have witnessed numerous stories in the society and started cherishing what she is having.

She might have even undergone the sorrows of losing loved ones, suffered the broken heart from dissolution of families or survived the life-threatening illnesses.  Eventually she was reborn from ashes with newly acquired strength and knowledge to overcome the barriers and to treasure every minute.

Every story carves a trace on her heart, as a result impacts her mind.  Over time the combination of the traces and the impacts cast the projections on both her personality and physical appearance.

We might have found that a lady with generosity and kindness tend to show the features of loveliness and gentleness.  She emits the light and warmth to the world around and draws others towards her.  In contrary, a harsh disposition tends to show off the features of gloominess and unkindness to push others away.

Beauty of a middle –age woman is less related to a sexy body, delicate skin or facial features, but more related to a caring heart, the pleasing smile and warm hands for the ones in need, plus the strength and confidence leading through any conflicts or difficulties in her life.

So is said that the beauty of a middle – age woman is the reflection of her soul and temperament, which is formed over long period of time and also can be improved through self – development.

The good news is that it is not so hard to achieve and maintain such beauty.

A middle – age woman might have dedicated all her life to climb up ladders to gain her social status and wealth as well as to raise her family.  Each of her tasks is well planned with certain purposes in her mind.  Some of the side effects associated with the processes are anxiety and stress.  There should be one more task, without any planning and purposes, added onto her routine, to make herself more charming and kind.  This additional task can be completed simply by focusing on the present moment to pursue a calm mind and relaxation.  Its outcome is to free her from the pressure by recalling the past or looking into the future, then to bring joyful experience into her life.  The happiness is the best nourishment for physical beauty.

The first 20-year in my life was spent in an environment where “not beautiful” was considered as beautiful for any women.  Self – cultivation, together with polished physical appearance, was despised.  My education on how to make myself look good started from the time after I left that environment.

However my journey of self – cultivation was not as smooth as expected.  A hard start and a rough path played their roles.

While I was browsing pile of pictures taken after I landed in US at the end of 1993. I noticed a subtle difference on my facial expressions before and after year 2003.

The time between 1993 and 2003 was the one when I was facing numerous challenges while trying to build a new life from scratch.  Juggling among graduate study, employment, green card, etc. kept me going without any breaks.  One the top of all those, a painful emotional entanglement lasting from 1993 to 2000 drained large amount of my energy and left me with a deep wound at heart.  The smile on my face during those years was only limited to the corner of my lips, and there was always a cloud of worrisome floating across my eyes.

Year 2003 marked a turning point for me, I started a new family, re-designed my career path and initiated my “beauty routine”.

I chose to attend business school while working as an engineer to expand my horizon in knowledge.  Afterwards I switched to quantitative finance, a field allows me to combine my skills in math and business.  By helping minorities reach their financial freedom, my work has been bringing me satisfactions and making me feel sexier each day.

I also started regular yoga practices, eventually discovered a special form of yoga – Ashtanga from which I learned how to stay focused and pursue inner clarity, peace and acceptance.  One of the by-products of Ashtanga yoga is its unique posture to slow down aging – “facelift” through inversion.  The practice of headstand for 15 – 20 minutes became part of my daily meditation.

Despite a very busy work schedule, each month I strive to read at least two books to fulfill my undying curiosity, and to write at least two blog posts to vent out the pressures and share my opinions with others.

I also find the opportunities to give helpful hands through volunteering at school, or local charity organizations.  Being able to make a positive impact on others has significantly raised my confidence level.

Right now the smile on my face is truly from my heart, a reflection of satisfaction and appreciation on what I have gained from my family, my friends and the world around me!

I was happy to be complimented after 35, then after 45, I am dreaming to be again complimented after I turn 55, not only on my physical appearance, but also on my kindness to others!

HeadStand     Yan_2

22 thoughts on “I Have a Dream ……

  1. I appreciate what you have to say about the beauty of a middle age woman. I am 72 and notice I feel more beautiful each year. The beauty I feel has nothing to do with my outer appearance; it’s about my growing sense of stability coupled with love, compassion, and forgiveness towards myself.

    The older I get the more time I take to clean my face, take care of my body, and live a fulfilling life. I am aware that the better care I take of myself the more energy I have to reach out with love and care to others.

    I am glad you included a close up picture of yourself. You are indeed beautiful.


  2. What a wonderfully inspiring story. I also believe that as we age either the beauty or lack thereof in our spirit will be what dictates our “look”. Even the most beautiful features can be twisted by bitterness and the most plane features warmed by care and love the gleams from the eyes.
    You look absolutely lovely. Well done!


  3. I stumbled upon your post through a comment on The Daily Post. Thank you for sharing your story. Your writing and the yoga posture picture here are indeed commendable. 🙂


  4. It was pleasure reading your article about Inner beauty, truly you’re beautiful inside out, so good to see your views on life, achievements, family, would like to be connected with you and love to read your posts, whenever you write 🙂 thanks for sharing!


      1. So good to see your response Yan! thank you, let’s be connected on wordpress, it’s the source keeping us together 🙂 have a great day Sweetie!


  5. Oh my I love your writing! And we have some things in common. I turned 55 in September and have started to work on my inner self through yoga, meditation and balancing my chakras. The past two years have been the start of a new chapter and attitude towards myself. I moved to a new community, near my old community (where I still work & have family) bought myself the jeep I’ve always wanted and bought an acreage with gardens & an orchard so I can grow my own food and trade food with friends. This has been incredibly fulfilling.
    I read a couple of your posts and love the depth that you brought me to as I read, you kept me riveted to the story. I couldn’t stop until the end.
    Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, I’d like to visit more too. I’ve just followed you on Twitter as well.
        Thank you for the jeep comment, I love that my jeep is a happy colour! Have a wonderful evening! Jen


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