Tonight by chance I read an inspiring poem.
Instants – by Jorge Luis Borges
“If I were able to live my life anew,
In the next I would try to commit more errors.
I would not try to be so perfect,
I would relax more.
I would be more foolish than I´ve been,
In fact, I would take few things seriously.
I would be less hygienic.
I would run more risks.
I would take more vacations,
Contemplate more sunsets,
Climb more mountains, swim more rivers.
I would go to more places where I´ve never been,
I would eat more ice cream and fewer beans,
I would have more real problems and less imaginary ones.
I was one of those people that lived sensibly
And prolifically each minute of this life;
Of course I had moments of happiness.
If I could go back I would try
To have only good moments.
Because if you didn´t know, of that is life made:
Only of moments; Don´t lose the now.
I was one of those that never
Went anywhere without a thermometer,
A hot-water bottle,
An umbrella, and a parachute;
If I could live again, I would travel lighter.
If I could live again,
I would begin to walk barefoot from the beginning of spring
And I would continue barefoot until autumn ends.
I would take more cart rides,
Contemplate more dawns,
And play with more children,
If I had another life ahead of me.
But already you see, I am 85,
And I know that I am dying.”
If time could go back, what would I do?
I would not have paid so much attentions on the judgments from around, and been so scared by any kinds of bullies from those jealous beings.
I would have stand in front of mirror every morning and told myself, “you are beautiful, you are smart,” then put on nice dress and makeup, gone outside to face the world bravely and proudly.
I would have refused to be manipulated by so called superiors and spoken out my own ideas loudly, as a female.
I would have selected my friends and life partner based on their attitudes towards me, instead of their fake reputations accepted by society.
I would have listened to my inner voice and decided what to like, love and hate instead of disguising to fit for moralities set up especially for female.
There were a lot more things I would have done differently if I could go back to childhood and start over. However, I appreciate the opportunities presented to me after I escaped from the dramas I encountered in another culture.
I am still learning, experiencing and improving little by little every day.